Today marks the 1 year anniversary since I became a stay-at-home Dad. Some thoughts on the past year:
This past year was not only about a "career change" for me, but a whole life style change for my family. We sold our house and made the big move from Denver to Durango. We didn't know a person here in the Southwest. Didn't know where or if we would find a place to live. Fingers crossed, we made a proposal to Magan's employer to allow her to keep her position and work remotely, (which they accepted). We sold cars. Liquidated possessions. Loaded up the family like The Beverly Hillbillies and headed for the mountains!
Magan has been incredibly supportive through all of this. But she is always ready for a change (I think this secretly made her happy as she has a fear of staying one place too long). She is always telling me to trust that we are exactly where we are supposed to be, exactly when we are supposed to be there. She is also always telling me that 6 months from now all of this will make sense (That applies to everything. Good or bad. Time will work things out, she always says).
Turns out, in this circumstance, she was right. But don't tell her I said so! Looking back now we are exactly where we are supposed to be. Last May it all happened in the same week: we got an offer on our house, Magan's remote position was approved, and we found the perfect house in Durango. It all came together. We lucked into the right house, lucked into the right preschool for Maia, lucked into making some amazing friends, lucked into everything settling into place.
For me, this last year has been a huge lesson in letting go of the control. Although we always joked about me being a stay-at-home parent, I never thought I would actually be one. I had set certain wheels in motion for my career and life-style and was sticking to those ideas. But as things have changed so have my ideas on the direction I'm going and want to continue to go in.
First, a whole new respect for stay-at-home parents. As cliche as it sounds, it really is a full time job. We have made it a point to stay involved in activities around town but even slow days seem to be busy with 2 toddler girls.
My previous salary was not worth what I was missing at home. We are lucky to be a position to have one of us stay home - I know that. I also know that I will not stay home forever but I consider myself lucky to be able to do it for now and spend time with my girls while they are still young. They will be teenagers soon enough and won't want to hang out with me, so I'm soaking up as much as I can now!
This last year has forced me to step outside my comfort zone in several ways. It has been interesting, especially as an adult, to make new friends. It has been an eye opening experience to be included in the stay-at-home mom groups. I have had to learn to really parent girls - Magan is not always around to address their "girl stuff". I had to become comfortable in my new role and fielding questions like, "When are you going back to work?" and "Don't you want to go back to work?" (which I get more then you would expect). The answers are, "I'm not" and "Not right now".
I have found a new passion in bike riding. I consider myself a pretty fit guy but just never had the time to commit to a regular work out or pursue a hobby on a regular basis before. I also have not been on a bike since I was a teenager. But we quickly discovered once we moved to Durango that they kick you out of you don't own a bike and ride it regularly. Seriously, it's a way of life around here. So I got on board. We now park 1 of our cars outside so our 2 car garage can house all of bikes and biking paraphernalia. Magan rides. Both girls have bikes, bike trailers, tag-a-long bikes and are taking mountain biking lessons. It's quickly becoming a problem! And I feel better then I have I years.
I couldn't have predicted or planned for this past year, but as it turns out, it's has been the happiest, most productive year I can remember in a long time. A LOT changed in 1 year and I don't know what this next year has in store for my family, but that is exactly what I am learning. That sometimes not having a plan means there are no expectations. And you end up in a place you could not have planned for but right where you should be. Check in with me this time next year!
Hasta...
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